I have been feeling really down the last couple days... been kinda grumpy and emotional. I told Trev it was because my high from seeing him was gone and now I was on a low low. Haha. Anyways, I am sure that has something to do with my depressed mood, but there are lots of things contributing. So, I decided I should make a list of the things I am thankful for, a few things that make me happy lately.

-Pictures. 

-Kate Voegele

-Phone calls and texts from Trev

-Sunny Days

-My new phone

-Noah

Is it sad that I can only think of 6 things that make me happy???  Ugh. Kinda. But whatever. Send HAPPY thoughts my way. :)

Quote of the Day

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are BRAVER than you believe, STRONGER than you seem, and SMARTER than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll ALWAYS be with you.”

 

I have been thinking about this quote a lot the last couple days. It kind of sums up a lot of how I have been feeling the past 10 weeks and how I know I will continue to feel the next 14 weeks. I have had to be a lot braver, stronger, and smarter than I thought I was or could be.I have learned that I can do things on my own. I have learned so much about my husband and I know how strong we are as a couple. Through writing letters, we both were able to express how we felt openly and honestly. I know that we appreciate each other so much more. We know how important it is to show our love every chance we get. :) A lot of our letters to each other were just really encouraging and reminding each other how strong the other was. I know when I was writing to Trev, I wanted to always remind him how brave, strong, and smart he is. And that even though I was hundreds of miles away, I was here for him. I know that Trev grew so much during his time at Basic, and I also know that I grew as a person/wife/mom.  I am grateful for this quote, for saying exactly how I feel so much better than I could have!

Graduation!

Ahh... I feel so refreshed and ready to conquer the next 14 weeks. :) I just got home from Oklahoma and boy, was it awesome! I will start from the beginning.

Family Day.

So, Noah and I left SLC at 12:30 p.m. on tuesday the 17th and Autumn drove us down. She rocks-THANKS AUTS! Anyways, Noah was an angel on the flights (besides throwing a few toys at the guy next to us, good thing he was a good sport about it!) We met up with Teesh in Dallas and from there flew to Lawton. Lawton is a hick town... way worse than Malad. Except there are a few more things to do there. Our hotel was way nice, and it was only about 5 minutes from Fort Sill. I could hardly sleep I was so nervous and excited. The next morning we headed out early to be there at 9:00 a.m. On family day they showed us some of the things they had been training the last 10 weeks and then finally the platoons came marching out in formation! It was amazing to see Trevor for the first time! We got to see where Trev has slept... tight quarters! And we got to meet some of his buddies. They were all excited to finally meet Noah! :) After we left base we went out to eat at Olive Garden and then hung out at the hotel for a while. Trevor had to be back at the barracks at 2030 (8:30 p.m.?) SO I drove him there and said goodnight. Noah cried the whole way back to the hotel and kept saying "Bye Bye, Dada." Pretty sad.

After Graduation.

The next morning we got up and left at about the same time to make to to graduation. Graduation was a pretty cool ceremony, I was so proud of Trevor. And I was extremely thankful my sister was there to take Noah out when we was cranky. After Graduation, we all drove over to the bay and picked up Trevor. We went out to eat at Cracker Barrel (Me, Trev, Noah, Teesh, Shamae, Jade, Seth, and Taylor). Then we hung out at the mall for a bit. Went shopping at the PX on post and just hung out. We had dinner at golden corral and then took Trevor back to the base. :( Said a long goodbye, shed lots of tears and then left for the hotel. I was pretty devastated. It started downpouring in Lawton and didn't let up until like 9:00 a.m. I took T to the airport and then went back to hang out at the hotel for a bit. When I got back to the airport for my noon flight they told me all flights were canceled. I was sad. I was ready to get he heck outta there. So i decided to drive to Dallas and make it for a 7:00 p.m. flight to SLC. I was panicking about driving alone and met a nice man who offered to drive me in my rental car. It is not as bad as it sounds. He and I talked to a couple minutes and he was very nice and polite. Anyways, I was pretty distraught, after saying goodbye to my husband for 14 more weeks and then learning my flight has been canceled and then decided to drive 3 hours to Dallas... I was freaking out! I felt really good about having a friend to talk to on the drive. Well, come to find out he was in Lawton on military business. He is with the Army and has been for many years. His name is Ryan and is married with 3 kids. They are currently based in Colorado. We got along well and he was super nice. He helped me out so much. Saved my life pretty much. I really regret not getting his last name because then I could look him up on facebook. :( Darn it. Well, anyways, I finally made it into the the airport and found out that Trevor was delayed there too. We got to spend all day together again! It was amazing! :) My flight ended up being pushed back until 10:00 p.m. and I couldn't even be sad about it because I got to be with Trev and Trev got to play with Noah. It was a blessing! I was exhausted by the end of the night though. Noah had had enough traveling was was ready to kill someone. Our gate got switched for the 6th time and when we finally got to the gate and were waiting to board I finally got Noah to sleep and a really nice man offered to buy me a bottled water. He was the nicest man and I am so thankful for people like him and his wife. After that trip I promise to always help mom's with babies in airports! I want to be the kind person who reaches out! Noah slept the whole plane ride and I slept for most of it. My mom was waiting to pick us up and I have never been so excited to get to Malad in all my life.
It was amazing to see Trevor and well worth the cost and long travel time to spend those precious hours together. I love him with everything I have. I am so lucky to have him. He has worked to so hard and done so well. I cannot imagine my life without him and I am so grateful I met him and I am lucky enough to spend forever with him.

So it is weird not writing letters anymore.. I was so in the habit of writing a letter to trevor every night, i feel like I now have tons of free time at night. I really should continue to write in a journal, since the habit is already formed! But, I wrote and sent one letter every day the last 10 weeks and I am sure sick of the Post Office! Haha. I also sent one package a week. Flip, talk about dedication! I sure do love my husband! I am so excited because I will be flying to OK in 2 days! And I will be with Trevor in only 3 days! WooHoo! I am bursting with excitement! And he is too, I talked to him last night and he can hardly wait to see me and Noah. Trevor had an hour and a half phone call yesterday and he called right when I was driving home from Poky and don't have service for about 45 minutes... BUMMER! Plus I couldn't just pull over and talk to him, because Noah boy was running a really high fever and I had to rush home to him. So last night i was pretty bummed. But I did talk to Trev for about 45 minutes and he is so happy, he is all done with training, now they just clean and stuff until Family Day! I was really looking forward to a phone call tonight, I don't understand why they wouldn't let him call today, I mean it's Sunday, they don't do anything! Oh well I guess.Well, I just figured I would blog since I am not writing any letters anymore.. Ha Goodnight, gotta go pack for my trip! :)

Unexpected Guests

So tonight I had an unexpected visit from my Bishop and Stake President. It was so nice visiting with them and to feel the priesthood in my home. They are two awesome men and I am grateful that for the the 6 months I am here in Malad, I know I can turn to them for any help I need. I am thankful for their spirit and kindness and love. I love the ward we are in here and I look forward to going to Church every week. (Even though taking a 15 month old to church alone is absolutely no fun.) The members of the ward are so kind and welcoming. I love this Gospel and the peace and happiness it brings to my life. I am thankful for the Spirit helping Trev get through the last 10 weeks of his training. Both mine and Trevor's testimonies have grown tremendously through this time apart. I know when we are back together again, our spirit will be stronger than ever. And I am thankful to know that our family will be sealed together forever and we will raise our children in the Gospel. Thank you President Wray and Bishop Hannah for dropping by tonight, it made my night! (And fixing my wii was the icing on the cake! :))

TEN DAYS!

10 DAYS UNTIL I GET TO KISS THIS GUYS FACE! :) YAY! I am so so so excited to finally see Trevor I could just burst! It is gonna be awesome. We have plans to go out to hang out with some of his new army friends, and go to the lake, and Trev really just wants to eat out and drive around in an air-conditioned car! Haha, that's what he told me today on the phone! He is so excited to see Noah. That's all he talked about today... Seeing Noah and eating lots of junk food. Ha I love my husband, he rocks.

Happy Mother's Day

Being a Mom is an amazing thing. It requires so much strength-it's both physically and emotionally draining! But it is just a rewarding as it is challenging. Actually, the rewards are so much greater. It can be the hardest day, Noah can be a terror all day long and when it is time for bed, he always takes me right to the rocking chair and gets so excited to cuddle and rock with me. It is definitely the best part of my day. I will be devastated when he no longer wants to cuddle and sing with me. Watching Noah grow and learn is the most amazing thing I have ever done. It is such a privilege to be his mom, I am so grateful I was blessed with this job. I love when he learns new things, and how excited he gets when he has mastered a new trick. Everyday is something different, and I love it. There are many challenges (especially since Trev has been gone) and by the end of the day, I usually want to scream, but I love that little boy and I love being his mommy. I love that I will forever have someone that admires me and looks up to me. I love how much I love him, it's an incredible feeling. I am always telling Trevor, "I never thought I would love anyone more than I love you, I thought what I felt for you was amazing and powerful.... well what I feel for Noah is way bigger than the love I have for you." Haha. I really do love Trevor, but it's just such a different, consuming love for Noah boy. Noah is the sweetest, most amazing little boy ever (I know I know, every mom thinks that about their kids, but give me a break, this is MY blog.. so I am allowed to be biased now) He melts my heart. I love watching him grow and I wish time could slow down sometimes. I wish so much that I could be more patient and live more in the moment and appreciate the little everyday things. I know I take to much for granted and worry too much about doing everything right, I sometimes forget to just enjoy that Noah actually wants to play outside with me... one day he isn't going to think it's very cool to hang out with his mom. Autie introduced me to this poem called, 'I'll do better tomorrow, I promise', and it has such a great meaning and it explains how I feel pretty much everyday of my life! I promise to be more patient, and understanding, and loving, and playful, and fun, I promise I will do better tomorrow. I am trying so hard to be the best mom I can be for Noah. I just hope one day to be the perfect mom! :) I love being a mom, it is wonderful. I love Noah, he is the greatest blessing in my life.

My sweet husband sent me the nicest Mother's Day card. Trev isn't very big into super romantic things, so I was surprised at how mushy it was. It made me feel amazing and I really love him! I love hearing how much he loves me (what can I say, my Love Language is Words of Affirmation!) and he really does love me. I know I have said it before, but this time away has really made us remember how much we love and appreciate each other. Thanks to Trevor for  remembering Mother's Day. :)

I can't forget my own Mom on this holiday. She is amazing! Really, like I don't know what I would do without her. I am so so grateful so have such a great example in my life. Well, maybe I shouldn't be so grateful, she is a really hard person to be like and live up to! Ha. She is super mom in my opinion. My mom does it all, and she does it all so perfect! She has always been the most amazing mom. I feel like the luckiest daughter in the whole world. My sister and I wouldn't be the people we are today without our amazing mom. As Abe Lincoln said, "Everything I am, and hope to be, I owe to my Mother." I owe everything to my Mom, she is my hero and always will be. I am grateful for an amazing childhood, being taught values and standards, and learning how to be a great mom and wife. Thanks for everything you have sacrificed for me Mom, and thanks for all you continue to do for me, and Noah, and Trevor. You are the best person I know.

I am Proud.

I am PROUD to be an American! :) As I watched President Obama announce the death of Osama Bin Laden, I couldn't help but get the chills and all emotional. This is a great day, hopefully the beginning of the end of something terrible. I am proud of all the troops and I pray for their safe return home. I am so grateful to live in this great Nation and know that me and my loved ones are protected by such an amazing military. We are so very lucky to have our freedom and the security that the military gives us. Thank you service men and women for all you do!

Tonight I am having one of those nights that I just want to blog about like 10 different things. I cannot get my mind to slow down.. I'm all over the place. Here are the topics I keep jumping around: Noah, Trevor's phone call, Trevor's graduation, the lesson we had at church today, and all the things I am doing lately.

I guess I will start with Noah boy. He is so wonderful. When I am with him 24/7 I don't realize how much I need him... Then there are nights like tonight when he wasn't around for like 45 minutes and I seriously almost died without him. I was expecting a phone call from Trev so I told my mom and dad to take Noah so I could focus on Trevor... well turns out the phone call made me really sad and I just wanted Noah the second I got off the phone and my parents kidnapped Noah so I didn't get a hug from him for like 20 minutes! It was pretty devastating. So moral of my little story: I cannot imagine my life without Noah, he is my everything.
Now, as for Trev's phone call it was amazing as usual, it just made me miss him so much. He sounds good and happy and I am so proud of him. It is just getting to the hard part, that I know I get to see him in 17 days, but I also so that the next 2 weeks are gonna drag on and when I do get to see him I have to say goodbye only hours later. That is going to be tough. I want to have like 1 week with Trevor between BCT and AIT to just spend with me, him and noah. Ugh, I am almost dreading graduation.
2 1/2 weeks until I get to see Trev for his BCT Graduation, and 15 weeks until he is home for good! :)